Some Quick Thoughts..

Are you comfortable with silence? I am.
Are you comfortable with being alone? I am.
(Okie, i know i've been cranky of late but i really think it's seasonal and it's due to hormonal changes.)

Bumped into a relative when i was with some colleagues yesterday. She was with her two young kids. We tied the knot at around the same period some 5 years back and she went into the family planning route immediately and have been a stay-home mum since.

I wasn't very keen in striking a conversation but she was. Though we were only two years apart, we weren't very close and I was trying my very best not to sound too superficial. At the end of the chat, i thought she didn't sound very good, she sounded like she needed company and someone to talk to. She sounded as if life had not been very fulfilling for her. Her countenance wasn't as great as before. Well, perhaps i was reading too much into it.

I've been looking around and friends who are mums literally devote their whole lives to their kids. Their children became the centre of their lives and everything else seemed to have become secondary. Their conversations theme around children and more children and they rush home immediately after work. For some, it was children over job satisfaction (ie, accepting new job challenges and embracing growth of that nature). Needless to say, retail therapy and tea sessions are hard to come by. Okie, even sms chat sessions seemed to be strenuous for them!

Okie, enuff rattling. What's my point?
These wonderful mums probably gave up their dreams and private space for their children.
I've always been one who treasures my private space. Hubby and i had discussed this and he knows that. I definitely am one who needs "time out" to be by myself, be with my frens, doing things that i like. I've never been one who needs hubby to be around twenty-four-seven. In fact, i think i won't want him to be around twenty-four-seven. I need to breathe!

Now that my first child is on the way, i know life will be different. I really wonder if i'm prepared mentally. Sure, i love my baby and sacrifices are necessary but i don't wan my life to be centred around her. This thought has been haggling in my mind. I don't wan to give up persuing my dreams. I know dreams can be postponed but, for how long? I would still love to have my private space and I absolutely don't like the notion of "no choice".

One important question - how am i to strike a balance?
Will i be like one of my friends subconsciously and eventually become one of the norms?
Hmm..am i self-centred or is this struggle a "necessary evil"?

Adri @ 28 weeks! =D

I tried to be really cautious with my diet these few days cos i know i'm going to see Dr Chen today. I cut down on all the sweet stuff and drank more plain water instead of my usual nice, cold sugared drinks. I even planned to take my dinner AFTER my gynae visit, in hope that i would weigh slightly lighter but alas, that didn't quite work. =O

Not only did i shock doc further, i shocked the nurse too! With much disbelief, she politely requested of me to retake my weight. She couldn't believe that i had actually put on 4.7kg since my last visit (4 weeks ago). To my and her disappointment, the scale wasn't faulty. Hmm...i think i broke the record.

Now, how then did doc react this time?

Me: Hi, Dr Chen... *with a terribly guilty tone*
Dr : Hi, how are you?
Me: Good...
Dr : Have you been eating a lot of ice cream?
Me: I knew you are going to ask me that question. Erm....nope. (Honestly, i haven't been BUT i forgot that there were a few weeks where i was literally craving for ice kacang late at night and of course, my sweet hubby satisfied my cravings...=p)
Dr : Mooncakes?
Me: Erm, we only bought our mooncakes yesterday and i only took a tiny piece so the change couldn't have been overnight...
Dr : *laughs* So what caused the weight increase?

And the list of possibilities continued....
That was followed by a scan and phew, i didn't have to take the glucose test cos baby was growing well. I put on, so did baby! =D



Adri is now 28 weeks, 1.1kg! =D She's still facing downwards and according to the doc, that's good. =)

Well, we all know that babies grow very fast and their looks change too, esp to those whom they don't get to meet every day. Nevertheless, Mart and I just couldn't help but wonder who Adrielle looks like, esp after we've seen her last scan.
Check out the above scan pic - A top and not sideview scan pic.

Okie, these are our thoughts:-
Baby Adri probably has:
1) Mart's eyes. Look at the eye sockets....huge and buldging (Reminds me of my Mother-in-law's...)
2) Mart's jaw. Chubby and round! Mine's slightly squarish with a sharp chin and I have rather high cheek bones.
3) My forehead. Her forehead is broad and its shape looks like my father's!

Ok, we know that Baby's still developing and it's prob too early to tell but we just couldn't help it! =p

Another of my main takeaways - Doc's words - "Your tummy is going to get lots bigger within the next 4 weeks so be prepared.."

Oh oh, I'm already starting to feel really clumsy....A much bigger tum? I wonder how I'm going to move around. Slower? Panting while walking and stopping with every few steps? Kicking more dustbins in the office cos i simply can't see my feet anymore?
We'll see.

Baby Adri @ 24 Weeks!

Tmr's my next visit to the gynae's so i thought i should do an entry on my last visit.

As per usual, i was very excited to see Dr Chen (actually, more excited to see Baby Adri cos i only get to "see" her once a month!). After a short wait, the following was the conversation that ensued:

Me: Hi, Dr Chen!
Dr : What have you been eating? Have you been snacking?
Me: *Shocked* Er...no actually....No chocolates, no tidbits, no fried stuff for me because i feel queasy each time i take those stuff. No ice cream of late too..Why, Doctor?
Dr : You put on 4kg! That's a lot! The average weight gain for one at your stage should be about 2kg every month.
Me: Oops...i don't snack but i eat quite frequently. Or maybe i do snack. I "snacked" on bread every 1.5hours cos i feel really hungry! Should i cut down?
Dr : Hmm..luckily for you, you started off slightly underweight so you're still fine. No, don't cut since you are not snacking on unhealthy stuff like lots of chocolates. Some expectant ladies "feast" on chocs and ice-cream cos their cravings..

I wasn't perturbed at Dr Chen's remarks but very amused. I was tickled that she actually "greeted" me with an abrupt question instead of her usual checks on how i was doing. That probably meant that i must have put on
A LOT! I can still remember her expression. Funny!
Curious as to how much weight i had put on since Week 1 (til Week 24)? 9kg. Yup, only 9kg. I guess the sudden increase in rate shocked her.

Casually shared doc's comment with a colleague and he responded with something like "Your doc yoga instructor ah?" after finding out that i had only put on 9kg since week 1. That really got me laughing for days! =D

This is Baby Adri at 24 weeks. 600+ grams (Will update on her weight cos this mummy actually forgot Baby's weight the moment she stepped out of the gynae's room! If Mummy remembers, she'll ask doc tmr =p).
Mart and I were looking at her side view and wondering whose lips, nose and jaw she's taking after. Ha, conclusion? No conclusion? It's really hard to tell!



Baby is now 28 weeks. Excited I am, to my "meet-up" with her tmr =D And oh, I've put on another 4kg since week 24. I wonder how Doc is going to react this time...=D

Footprints...

Many come and go, few make an impact.

Was on my way home from my parents' place after dinner and was telling hubby that once again, i was really touched by my father's gesture of love - him, a traditional dad, asking me abt my health and offering to buy me more tonics even thou i've not even finished those which he had stuffed me with!

That led on to a short conversation between hubby and i about pple who had left footprints in our lives. There are just some whom you'll never forget. The encounters might have been short, but the impact is great!

I'm blessed. Even though it has only been a mere 6 months, there are many who had left little footprints in this window of pregnancy and i must say a BIG thank you to you:

Hubby - Dearie, your continuous support and love gives me strength to go
on. What would life be without you? Carrying our child is a wonderful
experience. Loving you more and more each day. =)

Parents - You're the best! Mum, just being there helps!
Your specially thought-through meals and regulated tonics. =)
Dad, need i say more?

Sis Michelle - The pillar of the family. Your sacrifical spirit and love
for us never fails to touch me. Of course, the dishes that you whip out warms my tummy! =D

Sis Jacq - Tips, esp shopping tips! You are an inspiration!
A pretty mummy you were! =D Your generosity too. All the stuff you've gotten for Baby and I.

Sis Cat - Thou far away at UK, your emails and smses warm my heart too. Hope to meet little Jasmine soon!

Bestie Daph - You were simply sweet. Always there, listening to my grouses and keeping me in check. And yes, inspiring me to be sweeter to the pple around me thru scrapbooking *wink* =)

Yusniza - It was fun "testing" it out with you (you know what i mean, right?) ! You're one of the best colleagues i ever had!

Mr V.T. - Your wisdom never fails to marvel me. Thank you for always being there. And of course, thank you for "keeping me in the dark" with the 70% dark and all other yummy stuff! *wink*

M.O. - Once again, for being gracious and bearing. I know i've been rather difficult of late.

Dear family and frens, if i had so absent-mindedly left you out from the abv list, no offence okie? You know u mean a lot to me too.. =)

This tired mummy just yawned. I wanted to turn in earlier but i thought i should pen down my thoughts while i'm inspired and before i lose them all. Poured, happy and pleased.

A brand new term starts tmr. I'm not exactly looking forward cos it's going to be the most busy term but i know i must embrace it. Finish this race and i'll be able to spend quality time with Baby Adri. I look forward to end Nov...

Changes...

Met up with bestie for a while at SDU today. Hey, before you shriek and exclaim "What?!", it's not the SDU as in the organisation that conducts match-making sessions for graduates but "Scrapbook Design University". Cool huh? I never knew such a place existed til 2 months ago. Yup, my bestie introduced that expensive hobby to me and honestly, i'm hooked to it (erm....more hooked to the process of buying and wanting to own all those pretty embellishments actually. Up to date, i've only created 5 pages and a few cards =p)

Anyway, before we met, we were smsing each other and she was grousing about having nothing to wear, about how she spent hours rummaging thru her wardrobe, in futile attempts to look for clothes she could fit in. I recall doing that too and feeling really depressed over being unable to fit into my wardrobe *sob sob*. Well, despite that, bestie still looked great! She looked radiant. Her countenance was very different from when she was in her first trimester. And, that inspired me to do a quick recollection of my very own changes during my first and 2nd tri...I'll be crossing over to my 3rd tri this coming Tues (11.09.07).

Let's see how much this scattered-brain mummy can remember.

Okie, 1st trimester.

Lots and lots of puking! Still remember my first throw-up to be at 6 weeks. That was when I tasted Colgate! Mine wasn’t just morning sickness, it was all throughout the day! It was a routine for me to throw up first thing in the morning and just before I sleep. Not forgetting the several unexpected sessions in between. At the end of my 1st tri, I had grown really immuned to puking that I didn’t even need Mart around to pat me anymore! There was even one session where I was smsing while hugging the toilet bowl! Thankfully, all these stopped the moment I was 14 weeks.

My immunity was down, way down, and I was falling ill every few days! That brought about waves and waves of influenza and left me with almost zero energy for work. My MC rate increased (honestly, I couldn’t help it) and work anxiety peaked cos I got worried over my pupils’ work and that definitely didn’t help in the recovery process.

With regard to classes on Saturdays, I recall the many times when I msged my boss and told him that I couldn’t make it for class. I was absenting myself so frequently that I was expecting myself to be sacked cos I had seen teachers come and go. But he didn’t. Boss told me that he was not one who would fire someone cos illnesses. I was really touched and I appreciated him (I still do!) for being so bearing and gracious.

Now, clothes. The most painful process was when I had to archive my clothes and count the options I was left with (that didn’t even fill one shelf!). I recall staring at my wardrobe and praying that I would still be able to fit into those beloved pieces after I’ve delivered. Depressed? Definitely! Hence, I could absolutely identify with how bestie felt. Shopping? The irony is, although I was a shopaholic, I had absolutely zero mood to shop cos I just didn’t have the energy! What I needed was rest and more rest.

2nd Trimester
Now, I’m yet another to vouch for the saying “2nd trimester is the best”! It indeed is. My energy level picked up and Mart and I managed to do quite a lot of shopping. We shopped for both mummy and baby. Well of course, baby was the priority. And honestly, I’m glad we did that cos I’m beginning to feel more tired now that I’m about to cross over to my 3rd tri.

My immunity level picked up cos I was able to resume to supplements like Vitamin C pills and tonics. Those energy boosters really helped. =D My appetite picked up too. I was feeding baby and myself every 2 hours! Up to date, I’ve put on12kg! =)

Physical appearance? What else other than getting bigger and bigger? Thankfully, no pig trotters! =D

Mentally? Scattered-brain syndrome. I was having a tough time at remembering details. I literally had post-it notes to remind myself of my daily tasks, right to the nitty-gritty of the questions I needed to ask someone. =(

Emotionally, I went on a roller-coaster ride! I’ve always deemed myself to be a rather independent lady who is rather task-oriented. When I’m at work, not that I meant to, but Mart would be totally out of my mind. During this period however, I recall shocking and amusing my colleagues with “I miss my hubby” half-through work. Back at home, there were also times where I missed my hubby so much that I actually cried myself to bed! Boy, I was shocked at myself! Not that he was far away at some foreign country, he was just out on a social gathering! U see, i was totally fine even when he went on his weeks of reservists throughout these 9 years (4 years of courtship + 5 years of marriage) . There was also this once where I teared for a whole 2hours for two consecutive days! And, that was for no particular reason. Boy, that was when the alarm within me rang and I knew I had to guard my emotions lest I fell into depression. Shared with hubby eventually and he was really sweet and attentive. Thankfully, those nonsensical sobbing sessions never did occur again. Now that I recall, I really shudder. I just couldn’t help it, I couldn’t control my emotions at all! Many would attribute that to hormonal changes. Well, I don’t intend to refute that, but I choose to believe that we can always will and exercise certain degree of self-control. Of course, that’s only when one is self-aware.

Now that I’m going to be 7 months preggy soon, I’m expecting further changes. Will update as those come along! =D

Sonographer's Fret!

I went for my detailed scan at Thomson Medical Centre on 19.7.07. The sonographer confirmed that Baby's a girl! Yayyyy! =D

Adrielle Wong Ke-en. That's your name, Baby. No more "What ifs". =D

The whole procedure took only (only?) 30 minutes! Ha, Baby gave the sonographer a tough time. All throughout the scan, she was going "Aye yo..." for she had never seen a baby as active as mine. As for me, i was trying real hard to contain my giggles cos a wobbly tummy would have given her a tougher time. The sonographer was literally frowning all thru. Ok, dun ask me why, I just found it funny. Baby was turning non-stop inside me! The sonographer even mentioned that there was a point where Baby was kneeling - a position that she had never seen any baby in. And oh, she wasn't an inexperienced sonographer. =)

Hmm...i really wonder why Baby moved that much that day. Unprecedented. Was it the rays that disturbed her? Worth some thought and research.

I wanted to upload Baby's scanned pics but there were just too many cos it was a detailed scan, so i decided on the following instead:



Me at 20 weeks. =)

Baby's 4th Visit to the Gynae's...

I woke up with a shock today. My nose was bleeding! It wasn't the first time that happened but boy, today's was quite excessive. And that was followed by giddy spells that almost caused me to black out. Hence, my original plan to upload something about Baby had to be postponed til much later, now, after several hours of "nap".

This is Baby's 4th scan pic. She was 16 weeks old! It was during this scan that Dr Chen tried to confirm Baby's gender. I recall giving her a real shock with my yelp of "Yes, I wan!" when she asked me if I had wanted to find out Baby's gender. She was actually startled cos she had yet to see someone who was as excited as I was. Well, I just couldn't help it, afterall, I only get to "meet" Baby once a month!




Dr Chen tried scanning her from all angles but Baby had her legs crossed real tightly. Well, she managed to catch a little glimpse but couldn't confirm her gender as the "labia" (i hope i've got the spelling right) weren't properly formed yet. So she said, "It's likely to be a girl." Ha, that affirmed Mummy's instinct! Somehow, i was rather set on the name "Adrielle" and knew that Baby was going to be a girl. We were absolutely ready with a name for a baby girl but undecided on one for a boy *tsk tsk...*

One other significant event that took place during that scan was, Dr Chen did a coloured 3D scan, in attempt to show us Baby's features! But my little baby had her arms crossed right over her face! How strategic! So, poor excited Mummy and Daddy didn't get to catch a glimpse of how she looked like. =O On the high side, that kept us looking forward to meeting her.

P.S. I'm getting really scattered-brain these days. Hence I'm trying to pen down as much as I can before I lose it. =p

Baby's Name...

This scrapbook page explains why we chose to name baby Adrielle. =)
Her chinese name + meaning is there too! =D

1st Movement Spotted! =D

Oh my! Baby moved! I went for my 3rd scan and I saw Baby move! She was having hiccups and she tilted her head slightly and bobbed a little. I thought I was seeing things but Dr Chen assured that I wasn't! That was extremely cute! Look at how beautiful she was! Perhaps, her previous (burnt) pic hindered a little but she seemed to have grown so much within just a month! Isn't that amazing? And oh, she was 11 weeks old, 5.17cm.

Terrible Pic Quality?

Huh? What's that? Baby's pic? Yes, you're absolutely right! These are baby's 2nd pic. Technically, these two pics are the same. Okie...let me explain what happened...

The extremely elated mummy (eh-hem, that's yours truly) was really eager to preserve baby's picture and guess what she did? She actually tried to laminate the pic! Okie, the first pic is what's left of the pic after it went through the lamninator. Silly right? It didn't occur to me that the pic was printed on thermal paper and yes, sadly but surely, i "burnt" my baby's picture! *sob sob*
Any backups? No. I had not scanned the pic beforehand. =(
And the 2nd pic? Got a fren to help to "rescue" the pic with Photoshop and that's the best he could come up with.
Spot the difference? Spot the baby?

Okie, some details about baby. It was during this 2nd visit that Mart and I saw her heartbeat. It was extremely faint and weak but once again, I was flooded with gratitude and I couldn't help but marvel in "disbelief" that there was a life within me. I smiled, I rejoiced, and I knew from that moment that she was my charge, my responsibility.

In my womb rested Baby, 6 weeks old, 1 inch + in length, expected to arrive to this world on 6 Dec 2007 =)

Baby's 1st Pic!

Are you able to make out where baby is? To be awfully truthful, I can't, even though I'm her mummy! This pic was taken during my first visit to the gynae. She was only 4 weeks old! Only 1+ cm! How amazing! Even though she wasn't quite formed, I really marvelled at creation. The thought of a life growing within me really tickled me...The excitement was indescribable! =D

Inspiration

I'm definitely not one who will spend hours to pen my thoughts down, especially on virtual pages like these! Friends who know me will know that the goggle box or retail therapy tops the list anytime! Well, why such a blog then? As the title suggests, this is dedicated to my precious baby! Now, dear friends and family, updates to Baby Adrielle can be found here! I'm keeping my fingers crossed..I hope I will update this regularly (If you know what happened to my friendster account and previous blog, you'll know what i mean...=p) .

A first post is a good start. Okie, I plan to upload some pics of my baby. I have only managed to download the free photo software today. Have yet to figure out how it works. Given my natural inclination to "turn away" from the labtop, I think the updates will take quite a while. Pardon the tired mum-to-be? =D